Going to the Chapel

When X and I started talking more seriously about an engagement, we had a number of discussions on religion. He is Catholic and a majority of his extended family is Catholic. I am Lutheran and my family is either Catholic or Lutheran. Although the two religions are very similar, there are some key differences between them. I didn't and still don't really care about the location of our ceremony, but I was more concerned with who conducted the ceremony. My family has been attending the same church for the last 20 years, in which the same pastor has presided. It was/is important to me that we were both comfortable with person performing the ceremony. For me, that meant someone we were very familiar with and knew well. Thus, an obvious choice was my pastor. However, it was/is important for X to have a Catholic ceremony. We discussed many different alternatives that would appease the both of us. For a while, I considered having an outdoor ceremony outside of either church. Of course, I quickly changed my mind when I remembered how unpredictable the weather in Texas is and how expensive it would be to have Plan B in case of rain, cold weather, or sweltering heat. I think the most beneficial result of our discussions was that each of us was able to understand the others views of their own religion. We both respect that we were raised in different religious backgrounds, but we are more open to explore the others religion now that we have a better understanding of its importance. For a while I think we were frustrated that religion and the ceremony was continually being discussed. At the time I though that maybe it was because each of us wanted to have our way. Now that I look back, I think it was really that we wanted the other to listen.
At this point, we have decided to have a Lutheran ceremony (at my family church, with my pastor) and we will also be incorporating some aspects of the Hispanic/Catholic ceremony, which I will go into further depth at a later point. Have you learned anything about your relationship from wedding planning?

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