A Post for My Mom

Momma Beagle is the sweetest, kindest, friendliest, and loveliest persons you could know. I only hope that one day I will become half the woman she is. Over the past 5 years or so, she has become one of my best friends. My love for plants, sewing, music, and, of course, crafting all stem from her love of them and I would like to think that most of who I am today is because of her. I could go on and on about what a wonderful person she is and how much she means to me, but I think this picture just about sums it up:

Momma Beagle, at her 30th Wedding Anniversary Party

Sadly, Momma Beagle has not been able to participate in this last leg of the wedding planning. I mentioned briefly that I would be blogging for a wedding website, but she hasn't had much time to follow it. She has dealt with illness most of her life. And although she was able to be present for some key wedding decisions in the beginning, health problems have prevented her from playing a more active role these last few months. I made a point to discuss all the ideas I have in my head for this wedding with her. Sometimes she thinks I'm crazy for trying to accomplish so many details by hand, but I think she likes all the details just the same. It feels like she's been absent, by no fault of her own, during the planning process, and "getting married" has been a bittersweet experience for me.

For a while, it was questionable as to whether or not my parents would be attending my wedding. A few weeks ago, Mr. Beagle and I started seriously discussing and mapping out an earlier ceremony so that my parents, more specifically my mom, would most certainly be present. This was so important to me and I wish I would have started planning earlier.

My absence here on Weddingbee for the last week and a half or so is due to some unfortunate circumstances. My mom will not be attending my wedding. After six months of a rigorous battle with leukemia for the second time, Momma Beagle passed away on my parents' 32nd wedding anniversary.

For many reasons, I am heartbroken. She was so determined to overcome yet another health challenge and I don't know anyone else who could be more hopeful and positive about their hardships than she was. I have lost a best friend, a mother, a shoulder to lean on... the list could go on and on. There are positives that have come from this whole experience: she is no longer suffering or in pain and as a family, Papa, Momma, sister Beagle, and I, have become a stronger unit.

I am comforted that even though she won't be physically present, she will be there in spirit and in my heart our wedding day and I am brainstorming ideas of how I will honor and remember her.

I have no question for everyone today, only this request: Tell your mom or your dad, your sibling or your friend, your fiance our your significant other just how much they mean to you. Momma Beagle and I were fortunate enough to share this with each other and I only hope the same for you.